Audrey’s birth story: (very long, detailed)
After an “immaculate conception” 🤣, I never considered abortion for my child but adoption lingered in my mind until my 8th month of pregnancy. I was separated from my first husband, pregnant with another man’s child, a stranger to me - we weren’t together, and I had a strong “Spiritual” voice suggesting that I might need time just for developing myself. I married directly from my parents house and separated twice, the final one after 2 yrs of marriage. I barely felt like I was even pregnant, I worked two jobs at one point - Casual Corner ladieswear sales and Denny’s waitress. I moved in temporarily with a friend before getting my own apartment. At 5 months pregnant, I met a wonderful man who worked at Marble Slab Icecream not far from the store where I worked in the mall. We dated for about a year. I think he was present when my water broke... we were watching a movie at my moms house (I guess I moved back in right before Audrey’s birth).
I thought Audrey was going to be a boy “Izak Sebastian”... As the 5th daughter of 6, with no brothers, the idea of having a boy scared me at first, so I prepared early on for this possibility. Every ultrasound, her legs were crossed so it wasn’t clear. One of my sisters bought a precious baby girl outfit and said “there’s nothing There on the ultrasound”... she was sure, but I wasn’t. So my water broke, and my mother, my dads sister who was visiting, my little sister who was 12 or 13 and my boyfriend all got into my moms car and drove about an hour to a hospital in downtown Houston. I don’t remember why I didn’t use one of the other hospitals closer to us, perhaps because of my doctor.
So, I got to the hospital room, then hooked me and baby up to monitoring devices (a belly band over me to check her vitals) - everything seemed ok, although about a week prior to this day, I began to notice discolored discharge when I went to the bathroom. I could still feel her moving some, and I wasn’t concerned. At the hospital, I was informed that she likely passed meconium - a bowel movement in utero signals a bit of distress. The baby could possibly inhale the meconium, so I was treated very carefully. Several interns came to observe. 😳🤦♀️🤣 I was still fairly innocent at this point in my life, so it was a bit embarrassing but I rolled with it. My boyfriend and my aunt waited in the hallway. My little sister sat in the corner of the room, my mom held my hand. I had a painful epidural which only relieved the pain halfway... so the anesthesiologist poked my back again, which I didn’t feel at all. I was grateful to not feel the intense pain of contractions. At one point, my Little Sister was at my feet saying “I see the head!” 😳🤣
When in active labor, the OB on call used a suction extraction to help her out. I used a breathing technique I read about that I thought would be more gentle for my baby and for me. “Exhale push”... When the doctor said, “ok we’re gonna try this one more time” I think due to her vitals showing distress, I pushed really hard and was successful at birthing my baby... girl. Yes, my sister was right. I was wrong.. and I wasn’t actually sure about the name. I liked Hillary and Audrey... Audrey stuck since I’m a huge fan of Audrey Hepburn. Sileas as her middle name was a suggestion by one of my sisters - the Scottish version of my mother’s middle name, Cecile.
When they handed my baby to me, she was the most beautiful angel I’d ever seen! —- 😳🤣 No, that’s not how it went. Due to the suction extraction, her head was shaped like a cone, and her face was smashed sort of flat... I can’t remember details, but she was a hideous looking creature in my eyes. I had already decided against adoption, because I couldn’t arrange for an open adoption (I wanted to stay in contact, even if she was raised by someone else). So, I thought to myself “I will Love her anyway”. My mother immediately said how beautiful she was, and I didn’t agree... maybe the thoughts in my head came out as a response. They suctioned her lungs immediately before even handing her to me. She nursed easily, right away, and we were transferred to a private room.
My boyfriend and my aunt visited us for a bit, and my mom and sister stayed awhile longer. Audrey stayed in my room in a small hospital bassinet. Within a few hours, she was indeed a most beautiful angel. The misshapen appearance of her head and face were temporary... my mom knew this from experience. I was nicely surprised. 😉
My mom agreed to keep her eyes on Audrey if she was ever to leave my room. A sense I had about the idea of my baby being kidnapped or switched accidentally... my mother agreed. This hospital had a history of this happening, but I didn’t know until later. (Spiritual messages are important!) At one point after nursing Audrey, she began vomiting dark colored blood ... I think the nurse may have been in the room at the time and scooped Audrey up from her little bed and ran to the other area to attend to her. My mom followed, and I feebly attempted to get out of bed and followed to the door... I stayed there praying. I quickly learned that Audrey was fine - she hadn’t inhaled the meconium (baby’s first bowel movements are black) but she ingested it. I’m guessing they suctioned her tiny stomach somehow... I didn’t see. But they returned Audrey to my room shortly afterwards, and my mom took my little sister home. I was alone for awhile with my newborn Audrey, amazed at this little life in my care. I was so grateful and knew that keeping her would be a blessing... I soon learned a tremendous love for Audrey that I credited this child with teaching me. I verbally expressed my love for her multiple times daily... this wasn’t the practice in my family of origin and felt very new for me. Interestingly, this practice of verbally expressing “I love you” seemed to be contagious with some members of my extended family. I know it was because of Audrey. ❤️
God allowed her to come into my life, our lives... I’m forever grateful and pray she enjoys this day and at least 70 more, before God calls her home. 🙏
